Sometimes it’s vital to step back from your thoughts. View them as separate from yourself, assess them and unpick them. From this blog post I’m about to write you’ll see I’ve been thinking about the effect ‘guilty thoughts’ have on my life.
Guilt is something that comes up a lot for me. I’m guilty for saying no, guilty for cancelling because of sickness, guilty for not getting enough housework done or leaving my ‘To Do’ list half ticked at the end of the day..
..Guilty I’m not doing enough, saying enough, being enough.
All this is very unhealthy. I’ve set gigantic expectations for myself and it’s no wonder I sometimes feel completely worn out. For example – if I have a sick day I lay there feeling guilty for ‘not getting anything done’. Just let yourself be ill. If you really can’t do that, see it as an opportunity to do some things you’ve been putting off.
This week I became aware of a deadline at uni that was looming and blog posts I wanted to write but never have time for. So I set to (as best I could). I spent more time on Social Media and every time a negative ‘you’re wasting your time’ thought popped into my head I replied with ‘this is something I enjoy and something I get inspiration from’.
We spend so much time on Social Media nowadays but we’re told all the time how negative it is to spend a lot of time on there.
For people who work at their computer, research, blog etc. the internet is a vital place. For inspiration, tips, help and guidance. It sure as hell can be negative (constant reminders that everyone else is ‘living their best life’ which is often total bollocks by the way) but it should be viewed as an interest – like reading a book, magazine etc.
Personally I love Instagram! I find it so inspiring. From makeup looks to places to travel, home décor to OOTD’s. Sometimes viewing a single image can inspire me and completely change the day or content I had planned.
If social media becomes a distraction and an obsession then sure, it can be negative. Sometimes I spend time on there to ‘put off’ doing more important things – then I know I’m using it for the wrong reason.
YOUR OWN EXPECTATIONS
‘Guilt’ and ‘feeling guilty’ is an indication we’re doing or have done something wrong. But sometimes what we feeling guilty about is fueled by our own false perceptions and expectations.
..I’ll let you take that in, sorry it’s getting a bit deep!
Guilt – when reoccurring in our lives can put significant strain on our mental health.
For example – say I feel ill and need to take a day off work, uni, whatever, I feel guilty for being ill which might fuel thoughts like ‘they wont believe me’, ‘I should just get on with it’ or if you have to cancel on a friend, thoughts like ‘they’ll not invite me again’, ‘I’m not reliable’ come rolling in.
Sure if these behaviours if they reoccur over and over again someone might feel a little like that but the truth of it is you need to give yourself a break.
No human being is completely resilient. Being ill or feeling in a bad place mentally isn’t something you can just shake off. And it certainly isn’t your own fault!
Give yourself the space to breathe, some time for recovery, and don’t bully yourself for it.
This is something I’m really bad at..
Sometimes saying yes seems like the easiest option. But sometimes it’s the wrong option. Saying yes to something you simply don’t want to do or don’t feel capable of doing leaves you feeling inadequate whereas if you’d said no in the first place it wouldn’t leave you repeatedly stressing about having to do it.
In contrast, saying yes to something completely out of your comfort zone might be hugely rewarding. It’s about knowing your own personal restrictions and when you can push them a little. There are a few things that spring to mind when I think about things I’ve agreed to that I didn’t feel confident about initially that have actually changed me as a person. Take going to America last year – I could have said no, I could have let the overwhelm of doing a ‘long haul’ flight completely defeat me. I could have avoided anything that looked remotely like a rollercoaster at Disney World but I didn’t. Doing both those things helped me grow as a person. I feel more confident and as a result I am going to Australia this year which will take near enough 22 hours!
Are you guilty for feeling guilty?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this emotion.
Sometimes feeling guilty is completely unwarranted and unfair.
We need to reassess our reactions and stop beating ourselves up about things!
Eddie often says to me ‘You can’t please everyone’ and that is true – sometimes by trying to do so you are detrimenting your own happiness.
Thanks for reading,